


Trick or Treat

by Lightspeed



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Furry, Gen, Halloween, Humor, Trick or Treating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-31
Updated: 2012-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 12:12:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/824175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightspeed/pseuds/Lightspeed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pyro drags Soldier out Trick-or-Treating and finds a place where he might finally, truly, belong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trick or Treat

“Beep boop.” Soldier tromped down the block, rattling loudly as he went. The dryer ducts he had stolen and slid his arms and legs through wobbled and clanked as he moved, and the box on his head would not stay put, but he was damned if he wasn't the most stunningly accurate robot out for trick-or-treat. Small green rectangles of paper fluttered to the ground behind him, slipping out of the joints of his costume, and out of his coat. None of the other robots he'd seen that day were run on money.

Ahead of him, Pyro practically bounced down the sidewalk, waving hellos to the costumed children they passed. His devil costume had terrified everyone last year, and more than one family came to their door brandishing crosses and fire extinguishers. This year, Engineer had suggested something a bit less terrifyingly accurate. Pyro hadn't quite understood that comparison, but had shrugged and gone about cobbling something together.

So here he walked, far less threatening, but surely just as unsettling. Pyro had scavenged together a series of swatches of faux fur and remnants of shag carpeting, and spent all of his free time over the month sewing them together by hand into a large jumpsuit with a hood. In brown, white, pink, grey, green, and an awful shade of burnt orange, with small chunks here and there burnt off by accident, Pyro wobbled through the town as a giant, terrifying, patchwork bunny. His hood had a big pair of ears that hung limply down the sides, and across his face, he wore a nose and mouth, a mask made of some leather he'd nicked from Sniper, permanently twisted into a grimacing smile, with broom bristles glued on for whiskers, and two buck teeth in the front he'd pulled from one of Scout's many corpses.

Children walking by were desperately avoiding the pair, some of the smallest breaking out into tears at the sight of the nightmare bunny. Pyro, for his part, didn't notice, and trundled down the sidewalks of Teufort, a Banana Splits pillowcase firmly in hand. A few households had been kind enough to reward the grown adult in the scary rabbit costume with some candy. Others did so out of fear. A few threw things. Most, realizing the pair were mercenaries from Builder's League United, decided to err on the side of caution and turn off their porch lights when they came into sight.

“Beep boop.” Soldier had been communicating in what he called the 'Robot Tongue' for most of the night, though it was less communication and more an excuse to beep and boop at random intervals. “How much longer are we going to be out here? I've got drills to run and non-candy to not eat! They gave me rocks. Someone gave me a rock.”

Pyro turned, bringing up one mangled, fuzzy glove to tuck some blond hairs back into the tight hood of his costume. Static was building in the suit, and his hair was trying to escape at all angles. “But why? We have four more blocks to go!” complained the man-rabbit, his voice still a bit muffled through his makeshift mask..

“That's four fewer blocks we have to tromp around getting rocks in my bag, Private! And without us there to mind the base, and run patrols, we're practically defenseless! 'Cept for Demo. And Engie. And Sniper. Heavy too, so that means Medic along for the ride. Guess you can count Scout too. And Spy. And that dog that keeps hanging around the dumpster. And Lieutenant Bites. But all that aside, we're pretty well naked out there, asses swaying in the breeze! And I don't know about you, Private, but the last thing I want is some RED anywhere near my shapely, exposed backside!”

Soldier turned to Pyro, or where Pyro had been standing, at least, to find his companion had long since wandered off. His eyes went wide. Pyro was alone and in public. He couldn't be trusted to be aware of his surroundings, no matter how clever he was. He had to be found. Soldier charged off in the direction they were headed, hollering after him. “Private?! Private! Pyro!”

***

Pyro trundled up to a large house with loud music pumping inside, and bright, festive decorations all over the lawn. Lots of bats, cats, and scary spooky animals festooned the yard, and the porch lights were purple bulbs, casting the whites of Pyro's costume in a bright glow. He knocked eagerly on the door, bouncing a little on his heels. Without Soldier around to be a loud, grumpy, yet stunningly accurate robot, maybe he'd be able to get more candy.

The door opened, letting the loud music out into the night. Pyro's eyes went wide at the sight on the other side. The person who had opened the door wore a full-body dog costume. He was dressed as a German shepherd, complete with a happy, smiling mascot head, its tongue lolling out, and its fur all fluffy and fine. “Oh, hey, are you here for the party? Um, nice costume,” said the man in the dog suit.

“Actually, I--” Pyro began, when he heard a shout behind him.

“Private! There you are! I'm gonna tear those ears off your costume and shove them straight up your ass!” Soldier was fast approaching, having caught wind of the music and double-timed it to the source. He looked rather angry.

Pyro looked back at the man-dog, and peered in through the door. Inside, people in all sorts of costumes milled about, having a good time. All of them were some type of animal. Some of the costumes were full bodies with heads like the dog-man, and others were merely ears and tails. Many had drinks in hand, and the scent of pumpkin pastries and apple cider wafted out through the doorway. Pyro looked back to Soldier, and turned again to the man at the door. “Y-yes. I'm here for the party. I'm Pyro.” He shifted awkwardly, unsure of what else to say, but feeling he should say something more. “I'm a bunny.”

The man nodded his costume's head with a somewhat exaggerated motion, and stepped aside, allowing Pyro entry. As the charred, patchwork rabbit skittered past, the man-dog hazarded a glance at the fuming, yelling, yet stunningly accurate robot, tromping up the sidewalk, and returned to the party.

Soldier stopped at the sight of Pyro entering, and the man in the dog suit. They disappeared into the house and the door closed. He threw his arms up into the air, and turned on his heel. He was done trick-or-treating.

***

“Solly? You're back early, ain't ya?” Engineer's soft voice and crooked smile welcomed Soldier at the door to the base. “Where's Pyro?”

Fake money fluttering through the air behind him as he walked, the robot strode past, into the vestibule, with a grumble, and turned to face his friend near the door inside. “He's with his own kind now, Engie. He's with his own kind.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written in honour to the servers I usually play on: The Furry Pound 4 and 5. Damn good servers.


End file.
